Friday, January 29, 2010

I'm a Loser

....And it's totally a good thing.

I'm going to start by saying that I do not remember a time when I haven't been trying to lose weight.  I've lost and gained more's just ridiculous.  There was a brief period of time during high school when I was a size 10 and quite happy, but it didn't last.  (Oddly enough, this was when I was working in fast food.  And yes, I did eat at work, all the time.  No, it doesn't make sense to me either.)  But without going into the "boo hoo I've always been heavy" thing, let's just say I've just come to terms with my weight.

I wanted this year to be different.  I was starting off with my resolutions trying to eat healthy and make a real effort to exercise.  Not even for the weight loss, just so I would feel better.  I mean really, I've felt kinda like crap for a long time now and I'm really sick of it.  My sleeping pattern was awful, I always had heartburn, headaches, nausea, blurred name it.  I have been checked out by multiple doctors on different occasions and have been assured there is nothing seriously wrong with me - much to both my relief and aggravation.  Aggravation only because if they knew there was something wrong, it can be fixed.  I want to be fixed.  Almost every one of them told me it was most likely due to stress, and that I just need to find a better balance.  (All but one, who told me just by looking at me that I was - without a doubt - pregnant.  Yeah.  You can imagine that went over well with me.  I did not give him a kind review.)  Now, as nice as it is that "I'm only stressed," it's not the easiest thing in the world to deal with.  I mean, if you could just wake up in the morning and go, "You know, I don't think I'll be stressed today" everyone's life would be dramatically different.  And I tried.  Lord knows I've tried, and keep trying.

But this month...this month I'm actually seeing progress.  For the first time in a long time.  At the beginning of this month, my sleep was still pretty much a mess, waking up every few hours, and I had fairly frequent reflux (or as I affectionately call it, The Breath of Fire).  I also took body measurements and weighed myself, so I would know what I was dealing with.  Well, I am happy and proud to report that this month I've lost close to 5 pounds (2.5 of that in the last week!), lost an inch from my waist and an inch and a half from both my hips and bust.  My sleep has been much better, even sleeping through the whole night the last few days.  I don't think I've had reflux in over two weeks.

I'm so excited.  Measurable progress.  Motivation to keep going.  My little victories.


Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh wow my dear I'm so happy and excited! I so need to get my fluffy rear into gear. I'm needing some help and motivation :)

Love to have you back sweetie! I can't wait to see you again!

adrienzgirl said...

Congrats! Losing weight is not easy. It certainly goes on easier than it comes off!

Keep working it out girl! One pound at a time! :)

JennyMac said...

Congratulations ! Measurable progress is outstanding.

ANd happy Saturday ShareFest too.

Rachael@Tutus and Tantrumns said...

That is great news that you are actually seeing results! Now that you see results it will push you to keep going! Oh, and I feel your pain with the reflux, they gave me nexium for it...I don't like to take it everyday like I'm supposed to but I will take it for a few days when i notice a flare up...didn't know it could be related to stress, that would explain a lot!

Mhel said...

Hi sis... so ur blog on SITs... I can feel you.. I've lost a lot of weight last year, but gained more when I stopped losing. I was already accustomed to eating less and doing some pilates, when just a single vacation abroad broke everything. haha... I think it takes decision more than discipline and will power whether you really wanna lose weight. Decision whether you wanna do this for good or not for the rest of your life or up to a certain point only, because I guess your will power and discipline will follow... More power to your staying fit program... U

Luschka said...

Funilly enough in 2002/2003 I worked 20 hour days and lived of fastfood and energy drinks! I had a great body! Now I eat well, sleep well, and exercise, and I'm constantly struggling with my weight! It makes no sense!

Shelle said...

Congratulations on your progress so far!! It's good to hear that you are feeling better!

Thanks so much for stopping by my blog today!

Daffy said...

Lauren that is SO great! Even if you weren't seeing the weight changes, the sleeping and general physical wellbeing has to be motivating. It's all cicylical (or however you spell that damn word. I've typed it forty-two times and spelled differently each time. you know what I mean).

Anyway - good for you!

Mrs. Fish aka Two Fish said...

Keep at it woman I know that feeling. And when you think you aren't making progress...take a break...then get back and WHOA momma do you see results again! I think you are beautiful regardless...but I'm biased since I am your bloggy friend!

Susan (5 Minutes For Mom) said...

Way to go girl!!!!

I struggle with stress and sleep issues too... actually I have such bad anxiety that I take medication for it now and it knocks me out at night, so I do actually sleep now, but the problem is in the am I'm still sooooooo tired.

I think sleep and stress issues can totally impact weight gain/loss. I know when I'm tired I eat to try desperately to get energy.

I think it's awesome that you're trying to get healthier it is something that I'm trying to do too. I may be lucky in that I fortunately don't have a ton of weight to actually lose, but I'm still in terrible shape and am flabby and can't run around the block to save my life.

My suggestions are water, water and then more water. And also add lots of different herbal teas.

Also, I just bought those Shape Up runners and I find them really comfortable and motivating to walk in. I LOVE them and wear them around my house all day.

Best of luck!

Kaylen said...

wow---great job!!!!
I have been working on this as well - I want to sleep better, move better, fit my clothes better and just overall feel better.

I've done great on exercising - I got into a great pattern of walking. Unfortunately, I did not eat very well. I lost nothing this month. :(

However - I felt really good being on a routine of walking. And I really have enjoyed my walking time which brings my stress level down. I also enjoy using the treadmill and feeling like I am getting my money's worth for it! :)

Congrats to you!! Keep up the great work.

Stopping by from SITS.