Another Installment of "Dear Universe"

I'm not quite sure when all of a sudden I started doing this so frequently, but I always find myself making notes to the Universe nowadays.  So, here are a few that I've made recently.

Dear beer,
Thank you for being so amazingly tasty and enhancing the fun of my friends and I.  I do wish you'd work out a deal my intestines though, that would be lovely.  Plzkthx.

Dear Mother Nature,
I realize we all have our mood swings, but driving home in a blizzard I can't see through one night and then waking up to sunshine and 60 degrees the next day is a bit of a stretch isn't it?  I know it's a wishy-washy time for all of us right now, but all I'm asking is a little consistency.  I just want to know how to dress.

Dear weekend,
Thank you for letting me sleep in.  I really do appreciate it.  However, all that resting up kinda throws off my sleeping pattern, making Monday much more difficult than it really needs to be.  Let's work on this together ok?

Dear T-shirt with giant screen print on the front,
Please stop smelling like crayons.  I don't want to have to quarantine you.

Dear Nintendo,
Creating a shortage of Wiis on the EXACT DAY I get my tax refund is NOT NICE.  I would really love to give you money for a product, and there is not one store in this town that had one for me to buy, when they all had at least three the day before.  I repeat, NOT NICE.

Dear natural peanut butter,
I realize sometimes you separate and I need to give you a stir.  However attacking my good leather shoes with your extra oil will in fact only make me want to throw you across the kitchen instead.

That's all I got for today folks!  Have a lovely Tuesday!  Oh, and Minglers, I *will* be making the rounds this week.  Please be patient with me.  :)